Jokes | चुटकुले

Prof 2 Student:
What Is Attention Deficit
Hyperactive Disorder?

Student:
Jumbalakadi Bamba! Holsga
Volsga..

Professor: I Didn't Get You.

Student: Same Here Dude..!

Santa calls up 'white house'
Santa: 'I want to be the next president of USA'

Obama: 'Are you an idiot??'
Santa: 'Why??
is it Compulsory??

A Cop Pulled A Farmer
Over & Said:
'Do You Realize Your Wife
Fell Out Of The Car Several
Miles Back...?'

The Farmer:
'Thank God I Thought I Had
Gone Deaf...!

A lady buys new Sim card
2 surprise husband
She goes to the Kitchen,& Calls
'HI DARLING'
He says 'Call U Later Dear
The devil Is in kitchen

Sir: What is the color of Lourd Ram & Krishan?
Boy:Both r green
Sir: How do u know.
Boy; B'coz i heard the people saying 'HARE RAMA HARE KRISHNA.

girlfriend msgs her boyfriend.
gf - darling wat r u doing?
bf - nthing much! really tired, just goin 2 sleep nw honey.. and u swthrt?







gf- in d club standing behind u..!;-)gaya bichara....

A Doctor and Engineer Love Tha Same Girl.
Dr. Used to Give her a Rose
But
Engg. Used to Give her Apple Daily.

One day, Doctor Asks Why??

Engg: 'An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away'..!!

Doctor Shocked , Engg. Rocks!!

DAD To Son
Dad:Son Y Do U Look So Upset?
Son:I Cant Tell U Dad
Dad: Treat Me As Ur Friend
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Son:............Yar Tere Bhabhi Naraz Ho Gaye Hai

Girlfriend Called Her Boyfriend..!!
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GF:Honey Where Are You?
BF:I'm At The Bank.
GF:Dear,Please I Need 3000
Rupees To Activate My BB, 5000
To Do My Hair And 10,000 To Buy
A Dress.
BF:Sorry,I Meant I Was At The
'Bank'Of A River..!! Machhi
chahidi tenu Machhi..??

Boy; I love you
tum dunya ki sab sy khobsort larki ho

Girl;acha par tumhary pechy mujh sy bhe khobsort larki khari hy
Boy; mor k pechy dekhta hy par wahan koi ni hota
Girl;agr tum sach mein mujh sy payar karty to tm kabhi pechy na dekhty i hate you
Moral
Moral woral kuch ni bs bachi zara taiz nikli
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Par msg abhi baqi hy mery 2st
Boy;chalo jese tumhari marzi,magar ab ye diamond ring mai kisko dunga
Girl;lo!! ab mai apne janu se mazak bhi ni kar sakti.

LADY: Rahul Mera Bhai Tha

DAYA: Kya? Rahul Tumhara Bhai Tha?

LADY: Han, Rahul Mera Bhai Tha

ABHIJEET: Rahul Sach me Tumhara Bhai Tha???

LADY: Ha Sir...Wo Mera Bhai Tha.

ACP: My God, Iska Matlab, Tum RAHUL Ki Bahen Ho ...

BOY- Ek ladki ko rose dete hue kaha YE RISTA KYA
KEHLATA HAI? GIRL- Pavitra rista.. BOY- To Is pyar ko kya naam du? GIRL- EK hazaro me meri behna hai..

Teacher: ' Delhi me Kutubminar hai'
Santa was not payin attention
Techer asks: 'Santa repeat what I just said'.
Santa replies:' Delhi me Kutta bimar hai' ..

Teacher sent home a note: Sincere & bright boy but spends too much time with girls.
Mother sent a note back: Pls advise solution, father has same problem.

Police to thief:Y u went 2 steal thrice in the same store?

Thief:I stole 1 dress for my wife n went to change it twice...!U knw about ladies...!

An MBA student went 2 his home wid his gf after completing his MBA......
His dad asked , who is she??

Son replied

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My campus selection...!

A bf, who is good in English, is teaching
his gf about tense.
Bf:- YOU LOVE ME. Which tense is it?
Gf:- PAST TENSE.

Wikipedia:i knw evrythng.
Google:i hav evrythng.
Facebook:i knw evrybdy..
Internet:without me u r nthng..
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Electricty:
Awaaaaaz NICHEee.:-P:-D

Boy was in bus,sudnly driver aplied brk, he fel on a girl n kisd her lips.Gal-hey wat r u doing?Boy-MBA u? She smiled said BSC. MORAL-alwys think abt studies.

A software engineer was smoking.lady said:Smoking is injurious to health..He replied “We are bothered only about Errors, not Warnings !!

interviwer:tel me oposite words,Cool
Tintu:Hot

Int:Girl
Tintu:Boy

Int:Yes,Good keep it up!

Tintu:No,Bad put it down!

Tell Me Your Names And Hobbies.
1. My Name Is Sunil, My Hobby Is Watching Bubble
2. My Name is Babloo, My Hobby Is Watching Bubble
3. My Name Is Amar, My Hobby Is Watching Bubble
4. My Name Is Karan, My Hobby Is Watching Bubble
Now Girls
First Girl: Sir My Name Is Bubbl

See the conversation
Boy:- Hi
No reply
Boy:- Hi there?
(Again no reply)
(No reply)
(No reply)
Boy:- Hello im rich
Girl instantly replies
Girl:- Oh sorry
I was busy
How r u
What u do
Whats ur age
Be my friend na ?
Boy:- Hello my name is rich :-)
Girl:- Bye

A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, 'Is that the sun or the moon?'
The other drunk man answers, 'I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.'

Manager:
Sorry, but I can’t give you a job.
I don’t need much help.

Job Applicant: That’s all right.
In fact I’m just the right person in this case.

You will see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!

After a quarrel,
Boy:Today i hv bike,cellphone& money.
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Boy:what do you have?
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Girl:I hv an idiot!

A boy descending 4rm bike,right hand-purse&left hand-cellphone.
proposing a girl: oh! dear I really love U
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Girl:Hw do I believe?

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Boy:Look I hv an aeroplane,wireless satellite & a blank cheque of my father.

|After writing English Exam|
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Boy1 : How was the Paper?

Boy2 : It was easy except question no. 5. It confused me.

Boy2 : What was it saying ?

Boy1 : It was asking the past of 'Think' . I thought & thought & thought & finally end up with writing 'Thunk'

Husband kills his unfaithful wife,
while their 5 yr old son was still sleeping.

The weird thing was that d kid
didn't ask for his mom even 3 days after she went missing.

Father: Is there something u want to ask me?

Kid: I just wonder y mom is always
standing behind ur back ??

Me-I'm gonna study this year
I have to make my parents proud & get better grades..

Internet-Wh did u say ??

Me-Nothing,I love u baby

A Boy texts a girl
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Hi! What u doing?
Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.
Girl: Aww How cute!
Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U!

Boyfriend: I heard you failed in English!
Girlfriend: Nonesense! Who TELLED you?