Jokes | चुटकुले

Santa (Security Incharge) Pran ko jane diya lekin amitabh ko rok liya
Amitabh ne puchha kyon?
Santa: Raghukool reet sada chali aayi Pran jaye par Bachan na jaye

1 sabzi wale k ghar bacha paida hua,
to 1 aurat bache ko dekh k boli:
kitna pyara bacha hai ?
sabzi wala aadat k mutabik bola
Aur hai b Bilkul taaza

1 Ladki se 1 Ladke ne dil manga to ladki ne kaha kal dungi
Next day ladki apne sath bachha lekr ayi or ladke ko de diya kyu?
Dil to bachha he ji

1 Student Exam Copy Pe Apna Panja Bana Ra Tha Teacher: Paper Me To Hand Ki Diagram Ka Ques To Nhi Hai Student: Sir Paper Banane Wale Pe Lanat Bhej Raha Hun.

boy- i love you. girlne boy se puccha-main bhi tumhe ilve kahun to kya karoge.boy- main khusi se jaan de dunga.girl- jaa nahi kahti zee le apni zindgi.

Fool Apney Bhai Se:
Tum Hamari Shadi Par Kya Khaas Kam Kry Ga?

Bhai: Hawai Firing To Sab Kartay Hain,
Hum Khud Kush Dhamaka Kary Ga....

sir: aj pehli bar tum class mai bate kr rahe ho, hamesa tum najre jhuka k meri bate sunte the, toh aaj kya ho gaya hai tumhe???
stdnt: sir aaj mera SMS PACK khatam ho gaya hai.. :)

Girl-Mai abhi-abhi beauty parlour se aa rhi hu..

Boy-Arey!!..Aaj b band tha kya?

Police-Aap Belt Pehen Kar drive kar rahe hai aapko Rs. 5000 ka inam diya jata hai Aap iska kya karoge
Santa-main is se apn driving license bannaunga...

Kanjus 3yr Child ko Basket me chupa k Film dekhne le gye
Ticket Man: Isme kya h?
Kanjus: Lunch h
Ticket Man: Bach k Saab niche daal gir rhi h

K.G. k bache ki dukh bhari shayri:
Mohabat K Nam Pe Saza Mene Payi He
Gor Frmaye

Mohabat K Nam Pe Saza Mene Payi H
Baki Sher Baad Me Abhi SUSU Aai he!

1 pathan ki mout bijli girne se hoi!. Per uski laash haste hue mili, Farishton ne pocha aisa kion? Pathan:Hum samjha koi hamara photo kheench raha hai

santa 15 Saal Tak Ro-Ro K Aulad k Liye Dua Mangta Rha
1 Din Bhgwan Dukhi Hokar Aaye OR Bole:Tujhe Wahe Guru Da Vasta!
Pehle Shadi to Karle Mere Baap!

???Pathan Mobile Company Mai Job Lene Gaya: Pehle He Sawal Ka Jawab Dene Pr Use Maar Kar Bhaga Diya Sawal Tha? Subse Mashoor Network Konsa Hai? . . . Pathan: Cartoon Network.

Beta: Papa, aap engineer kaise bane?
Santa: uske liye bahut dimaag ka zaroorat padta hai.
Beta: haa pata hai, isiliye mujhe samajh mein nahi aa rahaa hai ke aap kaise engineer bane

Santa: Mujhe aaj tumhari aanguliyan katani paregi
Wife: Kyon?
Santa: Pappu kah raha tha Lady Finger ki sabji khani hai.

Doctor: Aap ka weight kitna he.?

Santa: Chasme ke saath 75kg.

Doctor: Aur chasme ke bagair.?

Santa: Vo mujhe dikhta hi nahi..!!

Mother: Santa Tum 18 Years ki larki dekhar Shadi karlo
Santa: 2 bahu lekar ghar aata hai
Mother: Kya hua?
Santa: 18 ki mili nahi to 9 - 9 ki 2 se shadi karli

Shiv-Mera Trishul Kaha hai ?
Parvati-Ganesh le Gaya.
Shiv-Kyu?
Parwati-Keh rha tha 'Girlfrind ke sath Maigi Khane ke liye Papa ka kaanta le ja raha hu..

Kingfisher assistant- Sir, pichle 15dino me ek b bottle ni biki.

Vijay Malya-engineering Cllg me phone lagao pucho results kab aa rha h.

SANTA-Bhiga sa lagta h Alam mujhe
Bhigi si lagti h subah mujhe
Bhiga lag raha h sara jaha mujhe
BANTA-uth sale,bistar pr susu kr dia h tune.

MODERN BEIZZATI...
Boy- i luv u
girl- apni shakal dekhi hai kya?
boy- dekhi hai tabhi to tere pas aaya warna KATRINA KAIF K pas na jata

teacher-beta TENSE kitne type k hote hai. boy-3 teacher-gud example batao boy-kal apki ladki ko dekha tha. aaj pyar krta hun. kal bhaga k lejaunga.

Hi, Sorry to disturb you
Ap “Yasir ” k dost ho na?
plz usko btana ke uska Mobile mere pas ha
Wo kal sham meri car ma bhol gya tha.
From:
Katreena Kaif
MUMBAI.

A good teacher is 1 who tells u to study hard, But d best teacher is 1 who stands outside the exam hall and shouts: Oye nlayko,flying aa gyi.Parchiya kha jao.

Aik Charsi Eyes Donate Kerne gaya,
After operation,
Dr. Asks:
Kuch kehna Chahte ho?
Charsi: Jisko bhi Aankhein Lagaao
Usey bata Dena K
Ye Do Kash laganay
k baad He Khulti Hain

Shadi ki 1st night
Dulha-Hmesha Puja krna,
vrat rkhna,
daan dena
sbse pyar se bolna!
Dulhan pareshan ho k bahar gyi or boli-sb andr ajao,SATSANG ho rha h!!!

Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai
hai”

Larkiyo'n Ki Specialty ...

UK: Dressing

Spain Beautiful

America: Stylish

Italy: Friendly

Brazil: Hot

Indian : Kuch Ho Na Ho
Par ATTITUDE Ki Koi Kami Nahi
Mile Gi ... =

Santa ka jab antim samay aaya or aakhiri waqt uske beto ne pocha:aap bataye k aapko hum jalaye ya dafnaye?
Santa:mujhse mat pocho surprise dena..

Baap of pj's -

2 boys are talking-

1st boy: Tu mast swimming karta hai re!
Kaha pe sikha???

2nd boy- ' PANI ME' :D :P

Santa Yaar mE 2 mushkilon me Fass gya hu
Banta: Wo koun si?
S:Biwi makeup kre to kharcha bardasht nhi hota
aur na kare to biwi bardasht nahi hoti