Jokes | चुटकुले

Mom: My dear son, why your Wife sitting so silent..?

SON: Nothing mom, she asked lipstick, but i gave fevistick that's all.
No chip chip
no chik chik:-)

girl (pyar se): tum muze bhulna mat.
boy: are tum jaisi panoti ko bhulega bhi kaun!

Father- Beta agar sasural waale
Scootar de to Car mangna,
Shop de to Ghar,
Cooler de to AC mangna.
Son- Papa agar wo Ladki de to kya uski MAA ko manglu.

Santa- Aapka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai.!Kya khilate ho isey?



Banta-wo sher hi hai,saala PYAR-VYAR k chkkar me padke kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai..!

Constable-Sir,

Humne sharab se bhara hua ek truck pakad liya hai.


Chulbul Pande-Usse kyaa hoga,
Ek truck sode ka aur ek namkeen ka bhi pakdo.

BHIKHARI:Saab, Pariwaar Se Door Ho Gaya Hu,Milne Ke Liye 120 Rs Ki Zarurat Hai.

SETH:Kaha Hai Tera Pariwaar?




BHIKHARI:Samne PVR Me DABANG Dkh rhe..;-)

A Cute Proposal:
Boy-I Love U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I'll Die For U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I Cant Live Without U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I'll Marry U
Girl - Really!
Boy- huttt....

Teacher:
'dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka'

ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao.....


Student:
sania ka baccha na india ka na pak ka

Gabbar-Ye Hath Hum Ko De De Thakur,
Thakur-Nahi Yaar Gabbar,

Me Dil Ka Mariz Hu,

Agar Tune Mere Hath Kaat Diye To Mai B.P Kese Check Karwaunga..

Sharabi ko Daru peta dekh American bola-Pani to mila lo
Sharabi-Hum Indian hai itna pani to daru ko dekh ke he muh me aa jata he

Santa: agar electricity nahi hota to kya hota?
Banta: raat mein candle light mein TV dekhna padta tha

1 Knjus hath me Blade se cut maar rha tha
Wife-ye kya kr rhe ho?
Knjus-DETOL ki shishi foot gayi h
Aise hi thodi waste hone denge,La teri b ungli katu.

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?
Intresting Jawab:

Taki Break-up Krte Waqt Ye Keh Sake Ki Tum Mere Piche Pade The,Mai Nai. .

Sir 2 me :Padai karo varna koi tumhe job nai dega



Me 2 sir :Padai wo log krte h jise job chahiye ham to job dene walo me se hai

Papa- ye kya tumhare maths me 1 marks aaya h

Son- jab irado me ho dugni chamak to hoslo me Q nhi

Papa-Wat?

Son- sirf 2 zero ka frk he papa..aa jaenge;-

1 Chuha sharab ke drum me gira.
Nikal ke mast ho kr soyi hui billi k muh pe laat maar k bola.
'Uth Munni
aaj ye chulbul tera mujra dekhne aaya he

Ladka Ladki dekhne gaya,
Thodi der chup baithe ke baad bola= English chalegi na?
Ladki(Sharmate huye)= Soda saath me ho to Desi bhi chalegi..

Teacher:
Beta Tumhare Abbu Kia Karte Hain??


Pappu:
Jo Ammi Kehti Hain..:-

Ek din Hanuman ji patang uda rhe the. Upar se Yamraj ne patang ki kanni kaat di. Hanuman ji Bole- Mangal Bhavan Amangal Haari, Neeche aao tohe patak k mari.

Grl:Agr Mujse Shadi Krni Hai To Tume Hr Hafte Mumi Ko 10kg Atta aur Papa Ki Car Me 20 litre Petrol Dlwana Hoga.Boy:Acha BEHAN chalta hu Ami-Abu Ko Salam Kehna.

Tchr-Batao Kutta Puch Q Hilata Hai?

Boy - Q ki Puch Me Itni Taakat Nhi Hoti K Wo Kutte Ko Hila Sake!!

Sidhi Baat
No Bakvas..
Clear hai!!;-)

Grlfrnd - mera dil mobile hai or tum SIM ho
Boyfrnd - O very good I am very happy!
Girlfrnd - zyada khush mat ho naya offer milte hi me SIM change kar deti hu.

Teacher-bina daant k 2 jaanwaro ka naam bataao.
GOLU-Sir , Dada aur Dadi. . .

A Doctor's Wife Nvr Allowed Him 2 Come Near Her!
She Used A Very Unique Technique,
Guess Wat?
.
.
?
.
.
By Eating Apple,
An Apple A day
Keeps The Doctor Away:

Girl-Mujhe Apni Heere ki Ring De Do,ME Ring Ko Dekh K Tumhe Yad kia Krugi
Boy- Tum ye Soch k Yaad Karna ki Kamine se Ring Mangi Thi Or Usne Nhi Di

Daant nikalne ke liye Muh kholiye

Lady:
Aa..aa

Dr:
Aur thoda

Lady:
AA..AA

Dr:
Aur thoda Kholiye

Lady:
Dr, kya aap muh mein baitke daant nikalenge?

IK LARKA LARKI SE : KABHI BHI KISI KO PATANA HO TO USE KHUD SE DUR HI RAKHANA..
LARKI: ISI LIA TO TUMHAI KHUD SE DUR NAHI JANE DETI..............

GOLU:Yaar, mai kuch bhi karta hu to meri biwi beech me
aa jati Hai

MOLU:Yaar,tu car chala kar dekh

Mariz-Dr. sahab Mujhe bimari h,Mai baat ko kehne
K bad bhool jata hu
Or 1dum gali de deta hu
Doc.=Ye bimari kb se h
M=kon c bimari Kamrne, kutte

Tcher-agar ek diwar banane me 10000 ka kharch ata h to 2 diwar banane me kitna ayega?

Stu-10 Crore

Teach-nalayak kya nam hai tere baap ka?
Stu-Suresh kalmadi

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se: Ghar ka rashan khatam ho Gya hai jaldi se le k aaye
Chor: Le aaouga aisi b kya jaldi he zara dukane To band hone do