Jokes | चुटकुले

Santa: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saap dikhane wale hai.
Banta: Haa par mai nahi dekh paunga.
Santa: kyu?
Banta: mera TV toh 21 inch ka hi hai.

1 kanjus ki shadi me bar bar Pani pesh kia jara tha

Santa bhukh se behal hokar chilaya, 'Bhai,Biryani milegi kya? Pani gale me atak gaya hai'.

Ek Ladka Ladki Hotel mein gaye....
Waiter:- Kya Loge???
Ladki:- Sabjiyo wali Gujiya.
Waiter:- What???
Ladka:- ye Biharan hai, MOMOS mang rahi hai. Kuch shikh le

Santa-Angrejo ne CHAAND pe PANI aur BARAF ki khoj kar li hai...

Banta-To Hum aey ab sirf DAARU aur namkeen leke jana hai...

HUM TO UDTI CHIDYA
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BHI PAR GIN LETE HEN
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BANTA :
ISMEN KYA MUSHKIL HAI,
2 HI TO HOTE HAI... ...

Girl-Plz Send Me Some Good Jokes.
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BOY- Me Padhai Kar Raha Hu...

Aftr 2 min..

GIRL-Kya hua, Aur bhejo n??

Santa-Tum Dusaro Se Kyu Kehte Firte Ho Ki Me Murkh Hu?

Banta-Maaf Karna Yaar, Muje Nahi Malum Tha Ki Yeh Baat Gupt Rakhni He

BOY- I LOVE YOU DEAR will u marry me??
GIRL- ye to purana hai koi naya style ???







BOY -Apni LAASH ko aag lagane ka MOUKA mere Bete ko degi kya?????????

PINKY: Ye Tumhe Kya Sujh Gaya Ki..
Tumne Kutta Paal Liya?
PADOSAN:Taaki Logo Ko Pata Na Chal Sake Ki..
Kaun Bhauk Raha Hai.

Ek videshi aadmi ek INDIAN se bola: INDIA gareeb desh hai. INDIAN replied: Kutte jitna oil tum log saal bhar me khate ho, utna to hum ek shaniwaar ko SHANIDEV ko chadha dete hain.

Girlfriend to Santa: Me tum se tabi shaadi karungi jab tum koi sahsi kaam kar ke dikhaoge.
Funny Santa: Tum se shaadi karne se jyada sahsi kaam aur kya ho sakta hai?

CHINTI auto me baithi or 1 pair bahar
rakha. driver-mam pair andar
rakho. CHINTI-nhi,raste me HATHI mile to
LAAT marni hai, kal saala aankh maar k gya
tha...

Bhikari-: Aapke PAdosi Ne Mujhe Pet Bharke KhAnA KhilaYa He.!
Aap Bhi Kuch Khilao?

Santa:Yeh Lo HAjmola.

WIFE-Q G roz subah mere chere pe pani kyo dalte ho?

Hubby-Tumhare pita ne kaha tha meri beti phool k tarah hai isse murzhne mat

dena isliy...

Adhikari-Mantriji,Baadh Ka Pani Khatre K Nishan Ko Chhu Rha H,Kya Kare?

Mantri:Khatre K Nishan Ko 3 Feet Or Upar Kar Do

Doctor ab aap khatre se bahar h phir b ap itne dar kyo rahe ho Marij accident hua tha us par likha tha zindgi rahi toh phir milenge

Santa ne galti se kisi ka 100 ka balance ho gya.
Phr call ki
O yaar mera 100rs wapis kro
Banta:mere pas to 80 aaya hai
Santa: ruk yaar mai 20rs or bhejta hun.

bhikari- ae bhai 1rupaya dede,3din se bhookha hu

santa-3 din se bhookha hai to1rupaye ka kya karega?

b- wajan tolunga kitna ghat gaya hai!!

Dost: Itne udas kyun ho?
Man: Wife se jhagra hoa tha usne kaha ke wo mujh se 30 din bat nahi kare gi
Dost:Tumhe to khush hona chahiye
Man:Aaj akhri din hai.

NEPALI KE MOBILE MEIN RAT 2 BAJE PHONE AYA....AAP SO TO NAHI RAHE HEIN. NEPALI GUSSE SE.....KAMINO YE JARORI NAHI KI HAR NEPALI CHOWKIDAR HO

Police:-'Humey pakki Khabar mili hai ki aapke Ghar mein visphotak samagri hai..!!'
Santa~'Sir khabar to ekdum pakki hai par Wo abhi Maikey gayi hai..!!'

chhora...teri kalam ki syahi khatam hogi k??
chhori ...bawla h k.....likh to rah h yo..!!

chhora .....achha??...ek be apna phone number likh k dikha..

doctor bola-taai tuje aisi dawai dunga ke tu fir se jwaan ho jayegi.Taai boli-na beta aisa julam na karea meri'PENSION' BAND HO JAAGO

professor to a student in classroom.
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'hey' apne baaju wale ko utha....!
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Student-
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'tune sulaya hai to tu hi utha.....':):)

Rajiv Gandhi narak me baitha tha achanak hans diya.....!
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Indira gandhi- Kyo hase?
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Rajiv- Sonia se shaadi maine ki..
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Par BHUGAT MANMOHAN SINGH RHA HAI..

Policeman: tum ne
Beech road pe bus q rok di ???

Pathan: hum sheher me
Naya aya hay mgr
Qanoon nahi torta,
Wo samne dekho likha hy
“bus stop”
Tou hum ne rok dia

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Ladka Tum mere sapno me khwabo me jazbato me rahti
ho ladki bhaiya tumko kisi ne bewkoof banaya hai
mai toh haryana mein rahti hoon.

4 Rishte Be-naqaab Ho
Jaty Hyn

1- Burhapey Mein Aulaad

2- Museebat Mein Dost

3- Ghurbat Mein Biwi

Aur

4- Sales Na Hoon Tou
Manager ..

A boy romantically to his girl friend- I can see the whole world in your eyes.
A passersby listens and says- Rajiv chowk pe kitna traffic hai zara dekhna.

Wife: Kal Aap Ne Girlfriend K Saath Movie Dekhi..??

Husband: Kya Karein,
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Aaj Kal Ki Movie Biwi Bachon Ya Family Ke Saath Dekhne Laayakh Kaha Hai.;-)

Boy After Watching
'Singham'

DAD: Beta Tumhare Result
Ka Kia Hua
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Boy: Kuch Bhi Kerne ka Lekin
Mera Ego Hurt Nahi Kerne ka.

Santa- muje zehar dena
Chemist- pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa-apni shaadi ka card dikhata h.
Chemist- bus kar bhai rulayega kya,badi bottle du ya chhoti.