Jokes for Topic: General

Ek Bacha Paida Hote Hi
Nurse Se bola- LIGHT AARAHI HAI?
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Nurse-No
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Bacha- Phir to tik hai
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INDIA Me Hua Hu ..Prod 2 b Indian

Lab sil jate hai, jab tum samne ate ho. Dil dhadakta he, jab nigah milate ho. Sans rukti hai, jab muskurate ho.
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'BHOOT HO KYA? ITNA KYO DARATE HO?

Kis Kis Se Kiye Hein Waade Tum ne Muhabbat Nibhane Ke baigairat...
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Yahan Her Roz Ek Naya 'chhka' Tumhara Pata Poochta hai.

Kya sunaye tumhe daastan-e-gum
Kya sunaye tumhe daastan-e-gum
jabse aap mile, tab se pareshaan hai hum

yeh insurance waale bhi bade besharmi se pesh aate hai ,
yeh insurance waale bhi bade besharmi se pesh aate hai ,
meri mauth se kitna faydaa hoga yeh meri biwi ko bataate hai

yeh zulfe hai tere, ya husn ka jaal
yeh zulfe hai tere, ya husn ka jaal
... khush naseeb hai woh chuhe jo khaa gaye tere baal

insaniyat ko log pizza pe lagaa ke khaa jaate hai,
insaniyat ko log pizza pe lagaa ke khaa jaate hai,
akhir insaniyat bhi koi 'cheese' hai

Aaj Khuda ki shararat samajh aayi,
Is dharti pe aapki hukumat samajh aayi,
Aapko dharti pe bhejna uska bahana tha.....
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Ravan ke baad kisiko ko aana tha

Woh tanha Andhere mein Bethi,
Ghanton intezar karti thi uska,
DiL se subuh shaam yaad karti thi usko,
BhooLe se b bhuLa nhi paati thi usko,
Phir Umeed ki ek kiran nazar i,
Andhere mein Roshni nazar i,

Preeto-tum to padhne me bade hoshiyaar ho to phir Tution ki kaya jrurat hai?
Papu-Maa tum bhi to ghar ka kaam karne me hoshiyaar to phir kaamwali rakhne ki kaya jrurat hai?
Phir kaya...de chappal....de chappal

Mini- kaya kha rahe ho yaar?
Santa- Mungphali kha raha hu
Mini- akle akle?
Santa- oye 10 Mungphali ki me langar lagau kya?

Majburiya hoti hai sirf mahaan logo ke Jeevan Mein
Nahi to Ram Vanvaas Mein
Krishna karaavaas Mein
aur
Mai office Mein kyo baithta...

Seriously First time in Indian History
Latest funny event occoured Friends...
Perrol is cheaper then Onions in India
Petrol Payaaj se sastaa ho gaya...

Height of Surprise:
“A boy after spending great time with GF,
Saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked – Is he ur X BF?
GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery…

1 Din Ke 24 'Ghante'
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7 sone ke
8 kamane ke,
3 Traveling ke
1 Toilet-Bath ke,
2 khane pine ke,
2 Biwi Bacche ke,
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Apne liye Bacha kya ' G H A N T A

Shiv-Mera Trishul Kaha hai ?
Parvati-Ganesh le Gaya.
Shiv-Kyu?
Parwati-Keh rha tha 'Girlfrind ke sath Noddles Khane ke liye Papa ka kaata le ja raha hu..

1.Saa
2.Re
3.Ga
4.Maa
5.Paa
6.Dha
7.Nee
8.Saa
Khud Ko Pehchan
Ne K Liye
Kripya 3 Aur 6 Firse DohrAYe.

Android’s versions are named as-

Cupcake,
Donut,
Éclair,
Froyo (frozen yogurt),
Gingerbread,
Honeycomb,
Ice Cream Sandwich,
Jelly Bean,
KitKat
Lollipop
Next: ?? GulabJamun»rasgulla»rasbhari

How to reduce weight…??
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First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
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Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat!

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai Wah wah Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai Kya irshaad farmaya hai Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai Bahut khub Mar dala zalim ne Dobara irshaad Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai. Nahi dalo to nahi chalti hai.

512 MB RAM wala smartphone or bsnl ka 2G internet Aapko sucide Karne par Mazboor kar sakta hai.

Teacher 2 students internet pe jo ashlilata aap use kis tarah dekhte hai Student- in Full HD...........

agar appni khubsurati par ghmand ho jaye to- Apni aadhar card ki photo dekh liya karo

Jee karta hai,
Apke pas aau,
Apke bahut pas aau,
Apke pas aa k zara ruk jau.
Na bolu, na baithu...
Bus apki ankho me..
Santre ka chilka nichor kar bhaag jau

God made a daylight n is called 'SUN',
God made an entertainment n is called 'FUN',
God made a nightlight n is called 'MOON',
God made a U n is called 'CARTOON'.

Why are wives 'more' dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life...
The wives want both

Best advice to yong boys: If you want to change the nation, do it now.
Once you get married, you won't be able to change even the TV channel!

55.*5*5*7.,.*5*7*.
*7u7L5L7555HO775*
*. t7555u777m .*
555 “7*.,.55*”
Dildaar Yaar
Sirf 5 aur7 ko Delete karo
or dekho Magic....
most cute msgs of the world

When you are in Liquid form, we are in Uniform!gg

oilet Songs:

In case of loose motion:
'Ruk ruk ruk aere baba ruk'

In case of Kabz:
'Na tu aayegi na hi chain aayega'

In case of Gas Trouble:
'Hawa hawa aye hawa khusbhu luta de'

After coming out of toilet:
'Juda hoke bhe tu mujh mein kahin baki hai'

GRAHAMBEL found telephone
EDISON found elctric bulb
MARCONI found radio
COLUMBUS found America
Tu bas mobile nu angutha maare ja nalayak!

Welcome to 'Sach ka samna'
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Jawab sirf haan ya na me dena hai
Toh lo aapke liye pehla sawal
Kya aapne mandir se chappal churana chor diya hai.