Jokes | चुटकुले

Argentina ka Messi, Brazil ka Kaka...
Wah waaa wah waaa!!
Argentina ka Messi, Brazil ka Kaka...
Dono team baahar...
Ab karo WAKA WAKA!!

Dil ki dharkan par aitraz kon karega..
chahato pe jaan nisar kon karega
Khuda lambi kare umar apki
warna meri shadi main bartan saaf kon kare ga.

Aankhon me noor hai
Chehre pe surour hai
Koi 'LARKI' mangey mera 'Number' to de dena'
Q k
Meri shaadi abhi boooohat dooooooooooooooooooooooR hai;

Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
Sadqay jaoo tumhari patli kamar per...

Soch samajh ke na ki shaadi,
sara janam bigad liya...
Soch samajh ke na ki shaadi,
sara janam bigad liya...
Chaturai se ki jisne...
usne kya ukhaad liya

Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle:
Even one punctures, the vehicle can't move further...
So, Intelligent people always carry a spare wheel

Arz hai
Mughe appne class ki ladki to Hai patana
Wah..Wah..
.
Mughe appne class ki ladki to hai patana
.
paar kaya karu Yaro sara class hai Uska Diwana.

Ye muhabat nahi Asool-e-wafa hai
'GHALIB'
Dost jaan to dey dete hen magar apni JAN ka number nai dete

Very Beautiful words On Wall of A Temple
*
God K Paas Apki Dua Sunne K Liye Bahot Waqt Hai

Na mera bap, Na mera taya
Ro Ro k mene Pakistan banya
In pyar karne walo ne zra b reham na khaya
Kambkhto ne mere mazar ko DATE POINT bnaya.

2 Sardar ped pe baith kar gana ga rahe the,
achanak ek ulta latak ke gane laga,
dusre ne pucha, 'ulta latak ke kyon gaa rahe ho.'
pehla bola,'are bewkoof, side B gaa raha ho.

Hindi teacher asks.'Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain.'
.
Sardar child,'5 prakaar ke: Local kaal, STD kall, ISD kall, missed kall and satsiriakal.'

Ek bar 300 sardarji ship me travel kar rahe the.
Lekin sare ke sare doob gaye..
.
Kaise ??
.
Nothing serious.
Ship beech me kharab hua, to dhakka dene niche utre the.

Ek Sardar roz ped ki tehni par jakar baith jata hai...

Socho kyo...?



Kyonki wo apne aap ko branch manger samajhta hai.

Honton ko chhuwa usne ehsas ab tk H
Ankhen nam or saanson mey aag ab tak H
Waqt guzar gya Pr uski yaad nahi gai
Uff Wo HARI MIRCH ka suwad ab tak H

MOLU-Tumara Bhai Gora hai Per tum kale kyun ho
.
GOLU :Qki mai raat me paida hua tha jabki mera bhai din me

GOLU:Aaj Muje Ajeeb SMS Aya Or Mera Mobile Off Ho Gya
MOLU:Konsa msg
GOLU:Battery Low
MOLU:Send Kr..Sabko Daraenge

GOLU school me hans raha tha
MOLU chup kar
GOLU-Q,tum kon ho?
MOLU-mai monitor hu
GOLU-mai CPU hu. Ab bol.

My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I don't have an iPhone.

santa-I lost rs.1000 in a bet
banta- how
santa-on cricket match, i bet rs.500 and lost.
banta where did the rest go?
santa-I bet on the highlight too. very funny santa banta jokes on cricket

Aaj anmol vachan:
Sukh aadmi ko utna milega,
Jitna usne punya kiya hoga.
Lekin
Shanti aadmi ko utni hi milegi,
Jitni uski biwi ki marzi hogi.

Ek SHARABI DARU Pee Pee K'Mar'Gaya,
Lekin Marte-Marte Bhi Ye Anmol Baat Kah Gaya
DARU To'Branded' Hi Peeta Tha,
Saala 'Liver' Hi Local Nikla.............

Very Smart Garment shopkeeper
Aadmi-'Mujhe 1 Lady Suit Dikha Do..
Dukandar-'Biwi Ke Liye Chahiye, Ya Koi Achha WaLa Dikhau.

Santa to Banta : Yeh bacha tumhara kya lagta hai?
Banta : yeh mera door ka bhai hai,
Santa : Door ka mein samjha nahin,
Banta : Ess k aur mere beech 8 behan bhai aur hai !

Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main
khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!

Girl : Tum mujhe apni heere ki ring de do, mein ring ko dekh
ke tumhe yaad kiya karungi,
Boy : Tum ye sochkar yaad kar lena ki kamine se ring mangi
thi aur usne nahi di!!!

Girlfriend ke aansu aur boyfriend ke aansu me kya fark hai?
GF ke aansu farmaish puri karwane ke liye nikalte hain,
Jabki boyfriend ke aansu unhe pura karte karte nikalte hain!!!

Santa driving on the wrong side of road..
&
Said…
O===SHIT===
Aaj phir late ho gaya.
Saare log wapis ja rahe hai.............short jokes

Santa : Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man : Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Santa : Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows XP install karna hai!

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin
phone without receiver!.............short jokes

Apne Fair hone par itna guroor na karo, Sab do din ki masti hai..
Aapki khubsurti bhi tab tak hai, jab tak FAIR & LOVELY sasti hai…

One hand on pen, other on phone, One ear on lecture,
other on gossip, One eye on board, other on Girlfriend,
Which Ass says student life is easy?
We are very busy..!!!