Jokes | चुटकुले

GIRLS: Mohabbat to kisi 1 se karungi

Ho sake,to kisi nek se karungi.

Lekin jab tak na milega,wo nek ladka

'TRY'to har 1 ko karungi..

Boys: Arz kiya h

koi ladki hame thukra de to Gum nhi,

Koi Ladki hume thukra de to gum nhi,






Are uss ladki ki maa ki. kismat footi

jiske damad hum nahi.

Laila ne majnu ko 1 ped k piche dekha or boli
Tum majnu hona?
Majnu bola ha,
Phir kuch der bad use jharioun k piche dekha to boli,
Tum majnu hona?
Wo bola ha
Phir kuch der bad use diwar k piche dekha or kaha
Tum majnu hona?
Majnu bola
HAAN
Haan
Mein Majnu hun
''potty' karne degi ki nahi..

Girl chatting to a stranger on a chat...

Stranger: Hey could you give me your email id?

Girl: Yeah.. It is [email protected]

Stranger: Take mine [email protected] ;)

Ladkewale:ye kya btmizi h apki ladki ko shram nhi ati,undrgrment m hi aa gai
Ladkiwale:apne hi to kha tha ki ladki hume sirf 2kapdo m cahiye

SANTA Apne Dost Se: Tera Bhai AajKal Kya Kar Rha He?
BANTA: 1 Dukan Kholi Thi, Par ab Jail Me He.

S: Wo Kyu?
B: Dukan HATHODE Se Kholi Thi.

Santa apni aniversary per patni k liye
Gulab
ka phul
leker gaya
Patni- muje ye nhi chaiye
koi
sone ki
cheez do
.
.
Santa-Ye le takiya,
soja

Biwi to pati-Tum abhi dinnar karna chahte ho
Pati-Ha..ha,Lekin ye to batao khane ki chezo me choice kya hai
Patni-Ha..ya Na..

Santa-Sir sb log HINDI,ENGLIS,URDU m bolte h MATH m Q nhi?
Teacher-Zyada 3,5 na kr 9,2,11 hole Nhi to 4,5 jad dunga to 6 k 36 dikhne lagenge

Teacher: Lofer aur Offer me kya antar hi
Student: Simple mam,

ladka 'i love you' bole to 'Lofer' aur ladki bole to 'Offer'

Santa- Tere haath me chot kese lagi..
Banta- Kuch ni Mene Gaye k Daan Ginne ke liye uske Mu Me haath dal diya tha usne meri unglian gIn dali

Judge-Aab Agar Kisi Ne Bhi Shor Kia Toh Usse Bahar Kar Dunga

Quedi Chillaya-O.O.Ha.Ha.Hee Hee.Ho.Ho

Mai Cheekh Raha Hu, Mujhe Bahar Kar Do

Innocent trick:

Kid 2 Mom- 10 Rs dena, bahar ek garib ko dene hain.

Mom- Kahan he Garib?

Kid- Bechara Bahar dhup me Kulfiyan Bech raha he

Sir: Tere papa kal kyu daawat diye the?
Boy: Sir, Aap aaye the?
Sir: Haan
Boy: Apko nai malum?
Sir: Nhi
Boy: Sir, wo 11 fakiro ki dawat thi

Santa went 2 a Shop & Said-
Black Colour ka bulb do

Shopkeeper asked-
Kaha lagana he?

Santa-
DopAhar ko andhera kar k sona he

Boy 2 Girl-I fell in luv wid u d minute i saw u! will u marry me?
G-aaee Hindi bolo Mereko engliss nahi aati
B-kuch nhi Didi,barsat ho rhi h

Beta On Phone:Maa Gud News Hai.
Maa:Kya Hua
Beta:Hum 2 Se 3 Ho Gaye.
Maa:Ladka Hua Ya Ladki.
Beta:Aapki Bahu ne Dusri Shadi Karli.

Boy 2 girl: I lv u & want 2 marry u.
Grl:Apni shaakl dekhi hai
boy: Dekhi hai to tere pass aaya hun warna
Katrina Kaif k pass na jata

1 kanjoos jangal se guzar rha tha
achanak uske paw me kanta
chub gaya
Wo Bola: Aachha hua chappal
pehan k nhi aaya varna usme
chhed ho jata.

Santa-Batao Raste K Dono Taraf Ped Q Hote H
Banta-Polution Kam Karne K Liye
Santa-Galat
Q Ki, Agar Ped Raste Me Hote To Gadiya Kaise Jayegi

SANTA ne Padosan ko khat likha

'I LOVE YOU'
Or
niche likha

Mene English me isliye Likha He
ki
Teri MAA padh na sake
Ki
Muje Tumse Pyar Hai

Santa- Yaar.. Tumhari Gardan Pe Ek Aajeeb Si Cheez Hai, Jise Dekh Kar Dar Lagta Hai

Banta- Aaccha.. Kya Hai Woh.?

Santa- Tera Chehera

Santa: Yaar Banta, log humein Pagal q kehte hai?
.


Bnta: chood na kar yaar logo ko.....









Tu NIMBU wali LASSI pee..

1 Car ki nilami ho rhi thi 1lakh,2la,3la
GOLU shocked-Is khatare me aisa kya h
Seler-Iske 10acidnts hue h & hr bar sirf Bv mari h
GOLU:4lakh

New Idea
Boy: Tumhare Pen me INK nai hai kya?

Girl: Andhe ho kya?
Chal to Raha hai!!

.


.
Boy: Acha to Apna mobile Number Likh ke Dikha

Judge:Tumhara Jurm
Sabit Ho Chuka Hai, Kal Tumhe
Phansi pe Latkaya Jaega
Santa:Wo To Theek Hai, Lekin
Utara Kab Jaega....???

New Idea
Boy: Tumhare Pen me INK nai hai kya?

Girl: Andhe ho kya?
Chal to Raha hai!!

.


.
Boy: Acha to Apna mobile Number Likh ke Dikha

Police Officer:Tumne Chor Ko Pakda Kyo Nahi
Sipahi: Kya Karta Sahab, Chor Jis Ghar Me Chipa Tha Wahan Likha Tha Andar Aana Mana Hai.

Santa joins car driving skool
Banta: tera driving skool kaise chal raha hai?
kuch aata hai kya?
Santa: haan..
ab horn badi ache se bajata hu

Santa Bank Lutne Gya Or gun dikha k Pesa lut liya
Pr us k hath kch nai aya
Qk sare pese usne manager ko diye Or kaha: Mere a/c me jama kr do

Santa:Mujhe Subah-Subah Saans Lene Me Problem Aati H

Banta:Problem To Ayegi Hi Subah-Subah Baba Ramdev K Chele Sari Oxygen Jo Khinch Lete H

Kya Dard Hue Bina Bhi Daant Nikalay Ja Saktay Hai

Doctor-Nhi

Pappu-Ager Me Nikal K Dikh Du To?

Doctor-Nikalo

Pappu-He He

Sheikh ka 1 rupiya chatt se gir gaya,

sheikh neeche pohncha to rupiya nahe mila

why??










sheikh rupiay se pehley pohnch gaya tha:-)