Jokes | चुटकुले

Always smile u knw y?
Bcoz haso jiyo!
Muskurao! Khush raho!
Kya pata kal mujhse panga ho aur Hasne k liye Daant ne ho...

Musharaf: Agar mey Plane sey 1000 ka note phenkoon, to?
Adviser: Aik Pakistani ka bhala hoga.
Musharaf: Agar 500 k 2 note, to?
Adviser: 2 ka bhala hoga.
:-) Musharaf: Agar 100 k 10 note, to???


Advider: Is tarah to 10 ka bhala hoga magar aap jump laga do to poorey Pakistan ka

bhala hoga

A student attached Rs.100 note to his test paper n wrote 'Rs.1 for 1 mark.'
Examiner was a sardar. He sent him Rs.81 back n wrote 'u got 19 marks keep the cange'.

Son: Mein school nahi jaaunga,
Mom: Kyu?
Son: Kaam Karunga,
Mom: 4th Class padh kar kya kaam karoga?
Son: 3rd class ki ladkiyon ki tution lungs:-)

Lady - Shoes dikhaiye .

Shopkeeper : Kitnne number ka ?
Lady - 36 no.
Shopkr:Jaao madam jaao,ghar se soch kar nikla karo Kya lena hai!

3 dost the kallu, billu, aur ulloo. Kallu 7th mein padh raha hai, billu 5th main padh raha hai, aur ullo sms padh raha hai.

Beta: baap idhar aa
Baap: beta papa ko aise nahi bolte
Beta: to kaise bolte hai
Baap: izzat se
Beta: baap izzat se idhar aa

Question: Bahooo aik gear marad ke sath sari raat ghar se bahar rahi, aur saas ne kuch nahi kaha, Kyon?

Ans: Kyon ki saas bi kabhi bahoo thi !

chor pakad ne ki machine bani 1din mein u.s mein 9 chor pakde gaye canada mein 40 china mein 11 india mein ................................................................
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..1 ghante mein machine chori hogayi

A Man went 2 NARAK,He saw GandhiJi Dancing with Mallika.Man askd 2 Yamraj:Gandhi ki saza itni mazedar kyo?Yamraj:abe saale Saza Mallika ko milli hai !

santa to halwai: tum kitne sal se jalebhi bana rhe ho.
halwai: 30 sal.
santa: tab bhi tum se jalebhi sidhi nahi bani!

Santa Asks Taxi Driver: Golden temple Jaaoge?

Taxi Driver: Haan Jaaunga.

Santa Ne Jeb Se Polythene Nikali aur Kaha 'Wapsi pe mere liye Langar Le Aana,,'-)

Innocnt joke of the day... Ek bar terro$ist ne budiya ke pas bomb rakh diya. Log chillaye- 'Budiya bomb hai' Woh sharmakar boli 'Aray woh to me jawani m thi

Wife : Ek baat bolu??
Husband : Bolo
Wife : Maaroge to nahi?
Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat hai?
Wife : mai pregnant hun
Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news, dar kyu rahi thi??
Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi.

Wife: acha batao car main ghomata hai, icecream khilata hai, restaurant lay jata hai, BOLO BOLO BOLO !!!

Husband: KON MAIN?
Wife: NAHI
HUMARA NAYA PAROSI

Girls Collage mai Strike ho gai,Sabhi girls Nare Laga rahi hai,
Girls k satth Boys bhi unka satth de rahe hai,
Girls ne Nare lagate huye 'HAMARI MANGE....,
Piche se Awaz aye,'SINDUR SE BHARO....'.

Gareeb mariz: Dr, mera paas paise nahi hai,ap mera elaj kr de to kbhi apke kaam aunga

Dr:kya kaam karte ho?


mariz:qabar khodta hun!n..........

aap kitne sundar
*
*
sushil
*
*
saral
*
*
sache hain

aur hum hein ki

jhut pe jhut
bole ja rahe hein..........

Patient: mujhe problem hai. Na khaon to bhok lagti hai, na sou to neend aati hai, zada kam kar k thak jata hoon.

Doctor : sari raat dhoop main betho theek ho jao gaye.

Judge- is sardar ke dono kan kaat do.
Sardar- nahin mai andha ho jaunga.
Judge- kan katne se andha kaise hoga?
Sardar- chashma kya tere baap ke kan p bethauga

ONLY FOR STUDENTS:
Arz kiya hai...
Humne suna tha zindagi imtihan leti hai,
Humne suna tha zindagi imtihan leti hai,

YAHAN TO IMTIHANO NE hi ZINDAGI LE LI hai.

Santa- yaar uth bhookamp aa raha hai! sara ghar hil raha hai..


Banta- Soja soja! Ghar girega to makaan malik ka girega! hum to kirayedaar hain

Journalist: Aap ki ACTIVITIES kya haiN?

Meera: Hum 2 behnaiN aur 3 bhai haiN

Journalist: Bibi, aap ki activities poochhi haiN, aap k waalid ki nahiN!;-)

Lalu- Ek vidwaan ne kaha hai ki Moorkh aadmi ki biwi bahut sundar hoti hai..

Raabdi- Ab rehne bhi dijiye!
Aap ke paas to hamari taareef karne ke alawa kono ka!

DO MAINDHAK BAITHE THE.

EK BOLA- TARR

DOOSRA BOLA- TARR

PEHLA FIR BOLA- TARR

DOOSRA FIR BOLA- TARR

PEHLA BOLA- FARR

DOOSRA BOLA- AE TU TOPIC MAT CHANGE KAR...

Teacher - Kabir Ka Koi Doha Sunao.
Little Marwadi child answer - 'Kabir Salo Bewkoof doha diyo Banaye, Khud to salo khisak gayo Manne diyo fasaye.

Sardar ji ne apni girlfriend k kandhe par hath rakha aur dheere se bole- ' I love u'

Girlfriend-'Jor se bolo!'

Sardar ji- 'Jai mata di!'

Train chali, Sardar Ji ik Dibbe me Chad gaye.

TT bola: Q phaji? Dikta nahi, Ladies ka dibba haii?

Sardar Ji: Sorry Ji Sorry ! Mere ko laga aap Mard ho...

Boy- ' I'm going to kiss u'

Girl- ' Khabardar! Main shor machaungi'

Boy- 'Par yahan to door door tak koi nahi hai'

Girl- 'Fir bhi Formality to karni padti hai'

JATT: Tumhe rajput kyon kehte hain?
RAJPUT: Hum apni baat pe jaan de dete hain,
aur tumhe ‘JATT’ kyon kehte hai?
JATT: Hum bina BAAT PE JAAN LE LETE HAIN.

Santa- Mujhse Wada Kar Ki Teri Biwi ki 1st Kiss mujhe Lene Dega.
Banta- Waada Hai Par Meri Bhi 1 Shart Hai
Santa- Wo Kya?
Banta- Mai Shaadi TeriBahan se Karunga

3 sardar after exam
1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha
main paper khali chor aya hon.

2nd: Main bhi!

3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhe
gi hum ne cheating ki hay:p