Jokes | चुटकुले

Santa: Should i buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.

Santa: Thank god i have only 6 children

Santa Ricksey wale se :- Oy Railway Station Jayega.
Reckse wala:- hanji.
Santa:- To jao n yaha kyo khare ho.

Santa:Meri Mummy Ne Kal Murga Banaya.

Banta:Kinu, Tenu Ke Tere Bapu Nu?

Son : Daddy, aap Egypt kab gaye?

Father : Kabhi nahi! Kyu?

Son : Aapko Mummy kahaam se mili

Kanjoos : Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Kanjoos :Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de

bhikhArI- “das paise kA savAl hai, bAbujI das paise kA …. .”
bAbujI- “are CUM-se-CUM merI aukAt dekhakar mANg,
kyA das paise mANg rahA hai.”
bhikhArI- “bAbujI ek rupaye kA savAl hai.”
bAbujI- “abe… apanI aukAt dekhakar mANg.”

Class me 2 Ladkiya,
1 gori
1 kali.
Kali Gori se:Tu konsi cream lagati he?
Gori:FAIR & LOVELY or tum?
Piche baita SANTA bola
Cherry Blosm.

A girl asked ~hujur can i kiss my lover?Hujur:Astagfirullah.Girl:Can I kiss my boyfriend?Hujur:Nowjubillah. Girl:Can I kiss you?Hujur:Why not? Alhamdulilla

Naye company mai job aaye hai salary 80,000 karne hai to jaldi reply karo.Zyada mehnat ka kam nahi hai bas bijli ke taron per,gela kapra marna hai.

Santa Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Krdo K Police Smje Porana Ghr Hy


Santa Ne Dewar Pe Likha

Anarkali Ko Riha Kro

Agar 25 rupayee mein pav bhaji milti hai to 100 rupayee mein kya milega..

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Santa- poori bhaji

Chuha-mujse shadi krogi?

Sherni-apni aukat me reh.

Chuha-aukat ki baat mat kar,

confidence dekh.

100 logon se pucha gaya k unko Larkiyon ka
“BRAIZER”
kis tarah ka pasand hai?

2% ne kaha
“White”

1% ne kaha
“Black”

97% ne kaha
.
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“UTRA HUA

CHOR:Apne paise nikal

MAN:I am Zardari,President of pak

CHOR:Acha to phir hamare paise nikalo

Customer:-Bhai kab se wait kar raha hon
khana abhi tak tayar nahi hoa?

Hotel wala:-Bhai sahab khana to 3 din say tayyar hai
bas garam ho raha hai.

Bahu:Maaji ye abhi tak nahi aye
kahi koi dusri Aurat?
Saas:kalmuhi tu hamesa ulta Sochti h
aisa B to ho Sakta h kisi truck k niche agya ho

Santa:
Yaar Koi Aisa Karobaar Bata Jis Mein Ziada Munaafa Ho?

Banta:
Aisa Kar Sardiyon Main Sasti Baraf Le Kar Garmiyon Main Baich Dy

Banta-Ye chitthi tum kise likh rahe ho?
Santa-khud ko
Banta-Isme kya likha hai ?
Santa-maloom nahi
Banta-kyu?
Santa-Abhi mujhe mili kaha hai

Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!

Jo hamesha hasta raheta hai usko HUSMUKH kahte hai

Aur jiska hasna bilkul hi bandh ho gaya hai use kya kehte hai?

HUSBAND

Santa: Station tak jane ke kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2 Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2 Rs mein kaun le ke jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

Baniya 14floor se neche gira
Girte hue usne apni gharKi khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NA PAKANA!

Santa public toilet gaya aur ek gante aad nikla.
Bahar baita jamadar bola- 20rs
Santa-saale... bathroom me baita tha... koi cyber cafe me nahi...

Khan: Yar Abi Tumhara Amma Ka Khansi Kaisa Hay?
Friend: Band Ho Gai Hay, Magar Sans Ruk Ruk K Aa Rahi Hay
Khan: Koi Bat Nai,Allah Kary Ga,Wo Bi Band Ho Jaye Ga

Santa bahut pareshaan tha usse kisi ne pucha santa itne pareshaan kyu ho to santa bola are yaar ek dost ko plastic surgury ke liye 2 lakh rupayee diye the ab phechan nahi paa raha hoo.

Santa:-yar uth bhukamp aa rha hai sara ghar hill raha hai. Banta:- soja yaar ghar to makanmalik ka hi girega!

Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.

Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500.

Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

Tcher-Water ka formula batao
-
Snta-H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3O
-
Tcher-Ye kya hai?
-
Snta-Sir ye Delhi ka pani hai.

1 Pathan hamesha Apne Mobile K Saath 1 Scissor Rakhta Tha,
Kisi Ne Poocha??
“Khan Saab Ye Konsi Science Hai ?”
Pathan: :”O Yaara Kbhi Kbhi Call Katna B Par Jata Hy Na

son:papa apko yad hai app ne kaha tha ke agar tum pass ho gaye to tumhe 5000rs milge ...
dad:hian mujhe yad hai.
son: papa good news hai appke 500 rs bach gaye

Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...

Pitaji: jab bhi tu koi galti karta hai,
chinta ke maare mera ek baal safed ho jata hai.
Ladka: tabhi mein sochu dadaji ke saare baal safed kyu hai.